low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
