oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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