we made out on top of his cat.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
