when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
