man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
My balls are so social today.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
