btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
