I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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