Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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