She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You had me at "let me see your balls"
i think im in europe. pls send help
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
