Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize