some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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