she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
