Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
