'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i think i have two assholes
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
