I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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