I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
