Too much gin, very little bucket
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
