Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
