We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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