Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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