windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
