I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize