but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
