Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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