He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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