Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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