That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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