I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize