So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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