Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
