What a fucking waste of an outfit
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
i was born a porn star she said
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
