you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
