The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
