I'm drive I can fine osifer
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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