Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
