The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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