I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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