hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize