Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize