and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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