I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
