wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
