You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
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