I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
