im gay
i know
yea but for you.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize