is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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