oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
