She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize
