what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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