somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
