Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
