how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
he fucked my hip out of place.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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