would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize