Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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