It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
What drink are we having for lunch?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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