It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
