DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
